Hmmmm - Self-Reflection

Have you ever heard or seen something that made you stop in your tracks and self-evaluate?

Let’s be honest, looking inward for the purpose of self-reflection and self-evaluation is not easy and the results can often be a little hard to handle. We are all growing and changing every day and if we don’t take the tyme to check up on ourselves, that change and growth, over tyme, can be more negative than positive.

Well, today I saw something that made me stop, look inward and go, “hmmmmm”. It was a video of a little girl that was visually upset, not in that she was crying, but rather in that she was visually vexed by something. The video had subtitles, so I chose to read it first. Shortly into the video, the little girl said something that made me decide to restart the video and listen to it because it seemed to me that she had a message I needed to hear.

Now, it turns out that the video was actually of this girl (probably 3 or 4 years old) having a conversation with her dad and the dad decided to film it. Apparently, the little girl was upset with her parents about how they were treating her sister, and she was expressing her thoughts about it. As I watched and listened to the video a few things really stood out to me.

One thing I noticed was how the father, who you couldn’t see, but you could hear if you listened, was extremely calm as he listened and responded to his daughter. She was upset with him and his choices, but instead of getting upset back at her, he listened and responded with love. He asked her questions about why she was upset, and he gave her a safe space to express what was upsetting her. As one who never had that, it amazed me that it was even possible.

Another thing that stood out to me was the way the little girl worded her grievance. She said, “I am not happy … you are being pretty mean to Hope.” That was the phrase that made me restart the video and listen to it. Now it turns out that this girl had a sister named Hope and she was unhappy with how her dad was treating Hope, but when I read it, I got a more metaphorical meaning from that phrase.

I don’t know about you, but there are days, too many in fact, when I can be extremely mean to hope. How so, you wonder? Well, when you consider that hope is not the “wish” or the “question” we make it out to be, but rather it is the assurance we have in The Lord, well, I am not always nice to it. I tend to worry about the future and fret about the past. I let the darkness of this world dim my light because it seems far too strong for the battery power I have left. You see, I forget that I am hardwired in to the infinite Source of Light and that the darkness cannot overtake me. That’s being rather mean to hope, wouldn’t you say?

Now I know I’m not perfect and I’m going to have my struggles, but those words, “…you are being pretty mean to Hope”, felt like something God was saying to me and it stopped me in my tracks, well, I was sitting at my desk, but you know what I mean. It made me look at myself and realize that I could and really needed to start doing better. In fact, I realized the word hope could be replaced with several other words; “you are being pretty mean to Faith…Trust…Love…Peace” and so on. That is what we do when we focus on the “what ifs” and the “if onlys” of life. We bully Hope, Faith, Trust, Love and Peace out of our hearts and minds, and we give the enemy a mighty foothold…which is also being pretty mean to ourselves.

The final thing about the video that stood out to me was the way the father listened. You could tell that he actually took the tyme to hear his daughter instead of just listening for her to be done. He was interested in what she had to say and how she viewed things, even though she was upset with how he was managing things.  It was obviously important to him to hear how it affected her.

In hearing this father’s responses, I realized that is exactly how God is with us when we go to Him with our thoughts and concerns and even our grievances against Him. I mean really, let’s be honest here, who among us has never been upset with God? Who has never wanted to say to Him, “I am not happy with how this played out”? No one, because nothing goes someone’s way all the tyme. Everyone deals with disappointment and wants answers as to why…and God is happy to listen to us when we ask Him. He understands that we don’t understand things and it’s okay to talk to Him about that. It’s okay to go to Him and ask why something happened or didn’t, even if we are upset with Him, He wants to hear from us.

Now, it’s important to know that God is not the Author of our disappointment, but He is able to handle it when we forget that and, in talking to Him about it, He will help us remember that He is working good in our lives because we love Him and we are called according to His purpose. After all, that is what honest communication does. It provides a safe space for expression so that an understanding can be obtained. Of course, that understanding isn’t always in the form of why something happened, in fact that is the rare understanding we get. The more prevalent understanding we get is the understanding of God’s character. When we talk to God, we realize just how much He loves us. We realize that He cares when we are hurting or struggling. We realize He is delighted when we are joyful and that that is what He wants for us all the tyme. We realize how truly special we are to Him.

Self-reflection isn’t easy and I personally find it amazing how God chooses to show us the things on which we need to work and also the ways He chooses to impart clarity and wisdom to us. For me, today, it was a 90 second video that ended up having nothing to do with what I thought it did, but through it, God put me on reflection overload.

- Calm and caring dads really do exist…

- Many of us need to be much kinder to hope and to ourselves …

- God wants to hear from us about everything, even when we’re upset.

- He provides a safe space for honest communication, not because He has to, but because He wants to have an open and honest relationship with each of us.

The truth of the matter is, self-reflection and self-evaluation …those Stop-You-in-Your-Track moments – the ones that make you look inward and go “hmmmmm” – while difficult, are major blessings and should be celebrated. Hebrews 12:6 tells us that “The Lord disciplines those He loves and chastens everyone He accepts as His child” … which translates to, “The Lord stops in their tracks those whom He loves and leads to self-reflection and self-evaluation."

So, if you are ever faced with a ‘hmmmmm’ moment, before you reflect, be sure to smile. Not only are you about to make the world a better place by bettering yourself, but you're doing so because you’ve just been stopped in your tracks by The One Who loves you the most ... and there's no better way to see yourself than through His eyes!